RELATIONSHIP GOALS FOR TEENAGERS
I have been talking to some teenagers recently about the keys and goals for relationships. I was not sure how you were a teenager, but I know that I was not prepared for dating relationships when I was a teenager. Honestly, not many teenagers are ready for dating when they are in their teenage years. But did I date in High School? Yes, I did! I know that it seems to contradict everything I just said, but in my mind, as a 15/16-year-old, I thought I was ready to date. Looking back, I was nowhere prepared to be in a dating relationship.
Speaking to teenagers weekly for 18+ years has allowed me to share “relationship goals” with students in Middle School, High School, and College ages. I am going to share personal goals and then relationship goals. We must look at ourselves first before we can plan or think about relationships. As you have conversations with teenagers or are a teenager, please use these questions and adapt them to your setting.
Personal Questions to ask:
1. What is the purpose of dating? (The answer should be found in that dating is a tool to help you choose and find what you are looking for in a spouse. You only date someone with the attributes, characteristics, and values you see in your future spouse).
2. What am I looking for in a spouse?
3. Am I dating with a purpose or because everyone else is dating?
4. How is my walk with God? Am I growing or stagnant in my relationship with Christ?
5. What boundaries do I need to build now before beginning a relationship? (Do not wait to start dating before making boundaries because it could be too late and cause hearts or limitations to be crossed early on in the relationship.)
6. Does the person I am interested in having a relationship with Christ? Do they match up with the standards and what you are looking for in a spouse?
7. Do your parents approve of you dating right now? Does the person you are interested in have their parent’s approval to be dating right now?
Relationship Goals Questions:
1. Describe a Godly Marriage.
2. What marriage would you consider to be a relationship goal for your marriage or dating relationship?
3. Describe a health relationship.
4. What married couple can I meet with regularly to help keep my dating relationship healthy?
5. What dates/outings that I can take my significant other on will help us get to know one another better and allow us to have more in-depth conversations on more than basic level conversations?
6. What are some boundaries that I can build to keep conversations from moving too fast?
7. Do my friends think I am ready to date and going to help keep my relationship accountable? Will I listen to their voices speaking into my life?
These are just 14 questions that I work through with teenagers, and I have many more, but use these 14 questions to help build a more in-depth conversation to help prepare teenagers for relationships that they can enter into wisely when they are ready.
